Happy holidays, friends! Are you ready for Christmas?! I think a lot of people this year are doing things a little differently, but I hope however you’re spending this holiday, you can find some way to find peace. Whether it’s going for a walk (connecting with the Earth is one of the best medicines ever), watching your favorite holiday movie, baking cookies, sending Christmas cards, even just going to an empty room for 20 minutes just by yourself.
If you’re like me, you’ve been spending time making Christmas crafts. I think my love for Christmas crafts started when I was in grade school. It was one of the very few things I did enjoy about grade school. I remember the smell of the glue, the construction paper, ALL the glitter (the more, the better, please and thank you), sequins…you name it. When we did these in grade school it was usually a solo project, which is why I liked it because then it meant that I didn’t have to worry about not being picked to be in a group. I loved the excitement as a kid: wearing normal clothes to school instead of our uniforms, eating candy during class, exchanging gifts and cards…oh wait, yeah, that didn’t include me. There were many times when teachers would try to give me a gift because they felt bad that I was the only one in class that didn’t get a card/candy/gift from a classmate. It was humiliating.
I remember one Christmas season at school where I was sick, which wasn’t really surprising because for whatever reason, I was always sick a week or two before Christmas. But, I was really sick that year and the teachers thought I was making it up to get out of gym class (I mean, in their defense, I probably did use that excuse a time or two which actually came to bite in the butt the year that I tried to pull that when we had to all do the Achy Breaky Heart line dance. They made me do it alone. By myself. In front of everyone. Come to think of it, that may have been the last time I tried to pretend to be sick at school.) Anyway…so, I was actually sick at school, but they wouldn’t let me go home, or even go to the nurses room. I was trying not to even more because I wanted to throw up and it was during craft time. One kid threw garbage at me and I asked the teacher for the fourth time if I could go home because I was sick. Again, she said no. I sat back down and guess what? I threw up all over the desk, floor and he kid next to me. Kids were laughing at me, calling me names, telling the teacher to rub my face in it. The teacher actually yelled at me. I was in fourth grade, so it’s not like I could really do much more. The teacher literally made me sit there and look at it before she had someone clean it and take me to the nurse.
I remember going home and watching Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer (the cute, clay animated one) and after being able to relax and not think about anything else, I was feeling so much better. Of course, that also started the need for Arby’s roast beef sandwiches when I was sick—they really are a cure-all for me.
I think this could be true for many things: when we are stressed, anxious, tensed up, it can make us sick. When you’re constantly in a situation where you’re being bullied and abused, it can wreak havoc on our heart and your entire body to the point where you just breakdown. Once you take a moment to distance yourself from that, you might see that your physical and emotional wellbeing improves, even though there’s still healing that needs to be done.
If you’re there, friend, I feel you. If you’re in school and it’s just not going your way. If you’re being bullied, please talk to someone who can help you. If you keep it in, it will only grow inside of you and make you feel worse. I promise. I want you all to be happy and healthy and live beautiful lives. Please know that you are worthy, loved, accepted, seen, heard and that you matter. You are not alone, not for one second.
I still love Christmas crafts and to be honest, I sometimes still make some of those crafts I made when I was in fourth grade—not because it reminds me of pain, but because it reminds me of the beauty that came after the pain. When I was able to go home. Rest. Lie by the colorful Christmas tree. Be with people who love me. Watch Rudolph (which I have to watch every year now). And, of course, eat Arby’s.
I hope you have a wonderful and safe Christmas. Thanks for reading (anyone, anyone?) and for putting up with all of my grammatical errors. 2021, we’re ready for ya! If you’re crafting, let me know what you’re making!
What I’m listening to:
“Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas,” Judy Garland (I mean, this song. A happy song and Judy just turns it into the most heartbreaking Christmas song ever…but it’s one of my all-time favorites)
“Willow,” Taylor Swift (thank you 2020 for not one—but TWO—Tay albums!)
“Kings & Queens,” Ava Max
“The Bridge,” Dolly Parton